I hope this makes sense....

Hello friends and family! I am very close to being back in the States! I am just waiting in the Guatemalan airport! Let me give a re-cap of my last couple of weeks here in Guate! I spent a lot of time with my family, traveled to Puerto Barrios (the coast) to drop off produce),went with my family to sell cream and cheese, celebrated the 4th of July with gringos, kept cool by going swimming in rivers, and ate a lot of churrascos. Ministering to those houses I talked about didn't really work out. We visited one day and left some craft materials, but that was about it. It kinda seemed like these weeks in Zacapa were more like vacation since we were hanging out so much. And just to be honest, I was accepting that because I am a teacher-- I do love summer break! I was fine with this but, towards the end of last week I was realizing I did have a ministry right in front of me. I love my Guatemalan sister. I use to pray for a sister every morning in the car with my mom when I was in elementary school , and think this was God's humorous way of answering that request. I think if I had brothers or sisters, I would feel the way for them I do for her. Reasons? We are soooooooooooooo different and quite frankly sometimes she got on my nerves... I consider this a sign of a real family relationship because of a little saying my mom and I sometimes use. "I may not like you, but I always love you." The point is I feel really close to her because she feels like what a sibling would feel like to me. I learned a lot more about her this trip. She confided in me with secrets of her life that even some of her family members don't know. Just to make a long story short, the girl has had a rough life. There are things in her life that constantly make her upset and sad. These things that occurred to her sometimes her actions to me... Haha. Not only did I learn allooooooot more about her, but we talked a lot about her church and very openly. Their church scares me. In order to be a member you have to commit to not wearing certain types of clothes and other random things like that. It's not that I think they are wrong for not wearing pants---I just question the motive behind it. If they really only do these things because they feel convicted by God, that's awesome! It's also a challenge to me to make sure I am always seeking Gods righteousness and not my own. But if they do things because it's a rule to be a member or a church.....that's wrong. To me that doesn't demonstrate someone being changed by God and His Spieit, but rather by man and his laws. Anyway one night these two topics collided. Elizabeth was really down about something, and after some rabbit trail I just felt led to ask her some blunt questions. I told her that I know she goes to church alot and does the things a member should, but I asked if she ever met with God on her own? Did she pray outside of church? Did she ever crack open her Bible outside of church? She answered honestly and said no. On the outside she does lookS like a "Christian" and she even knows the right stuff to say. But seeing how she is constantly sad or upset and even with the way she deals with it, I just had to question. It's not that I think life's problems melt away when we crack our Bibles open every day. It's just being a Christian is not about a list of dos and donts. I believe I am a sinner an that I deserve hell, literally. God however set his Son to take my punishment. Because of Christ's love shown on the cross, I now have a relationship with God. You see, before I wasn't able to because of my sin. But now when He looks at me He sees a daughter, because He sees that Jesus took my place on the cross. And now I walk by faith. I don't walk by works because they will fail. I can do nothing of eternal significance without God. Therefore now, I walk in the Spirit. That just means Im surrendered to God, knowing I can't do this life on my own. I desire that relationship with Him, Because I know He will help me. I'm alive because of Him! That's why I want to know Him more and read His work and listen and talk to Him. Sorry for the rabbit trail... But my question then to Elizabeth was how did she expect to walk in the Spirit )or in a way pleasing to God) if she didn't spend time with Him? Right then she was living life the way her church told her to? Rules don't change Someone's heart. Only God can do that. She was putting so much weight on what other people thought instead of God. My challenge to her and myself is to seek God first. There's a hope and joy that comes when we draw near to Him. Hope in Christ doesn't make all the bad things in life go away, but it does make them look them easier to endure. Joy in Christ doesn't take away the tears, it just helps us remember that one day we wil be with God and there will be no tears. My sister started beginning her days differently. My last couple of days she spent time with God. It didn't take awaynthe bad things that have happened in her life, it didn't suddenly eliminate all her problems, but it did her outlook on the day. She is really starting to begin a relationship with God. Please pray that she would walk in Christ and seek Him instead of other peoples opinions. I love that girl, and can't wait to see how God is going to use her. Well... If that didn't make sense, just ask me to explain it in person. I'm running on about 2 hours of sleep. If you want to hear a funny story, ask me about my final 24 hours in Guate. I'm excited to catch up with everyone and hear what God has been doing in your lives! See ya soooooon! "But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." Psalm 73:28