Lent

Lent... lint... lend... Lindt truffles?!  (these are thoughts that come across my mind)

Honestly, for the longest time I thought lent was this “Catholic” thing and therefore never explored the topic that much---it was not in the Baptist vocabulary that has been forever implanted into my mind.

However the past couple of years I have been challenged to take a look a look at my relationship with Christ during this time…to maybe commit to reading the Bible more, praying more, or maybe even memorizing verses.  Pretty much I understood it as a time to refocus on the most important relationship that anyone could ever imagine.

We have a new chaplain/counselor at our school, whose name is Kylie.  She recently sent us an email about lent and what she/people often desire… here’s a paragraph from it.

I am looking for a relationship that goes both ways. I am looking to connect again with the God I once fell in love with. I need to hit reset. I want to erase years I have pushed Him away. I want to know that He still loves me despite confusion, question marks, doubt, stupidity and my distraction. I want to be a little kid around God again, not caring what the world around me thinks, trusting him, being joyful and knowing I can curl up in His arms. I want to be able to vent to Him and scream and complain and be honest and cry and know that He hears me. I want to sense Him leading me, comforting me, healing me, giving me joy. I want to start seeing all the gifts He’s been giving me all along that I have become blind to… or even ungrateful for.

This really resonated with me.  I do want this.  I want to be renewed.  I want to fall in love all over again.  I want to grow.  I want to be more like Jesus, and less like a sinner. I want my faith to be so strong, that no small doubt is able to enter my mind… defeat truth… and then take over.    

I love Guatemala.  I love teaching high school science.  I love living in the same city as my fiancé and working with him. However, there are others things that I love that are not within reach right now…physically speaking.  I love my parents. I love my family.  I love my best friend that I met when I was 5.  I love my grandma that lives 5 houses down from me. I love my church. 

But God has me here.  I say that right now in this moment as I write this with 100% confidence, but I will be honest and say that sometimes I doubt that.  When I start to miss my family, Satan enters my mind and tells me how easy it would be for me to change where I am.  He also makes me question… am I right by being here? I am thankful for new friends here, but I miss those friends that are pretty much like family… who just know everything about you. And between you and them…. you have like a million inside jokes.

I miss my church.  I miss the familiarity of Summit and all the awesome people I met there.  I miss Powerpoints and studyguides to go with the sermon…. a sermon that always had some kind of organization to it.  I miss not having to translate and then “digest” thoughts and then apply.

But God has me here.  And even though to some that doesn’t sound logical to all… He does.  Not only has He given me a desire for the country and culture of Guatemala, He has given me a passion for my students to know Christ.  He has for some reason, placed me in the odd world of high school education…. but I love it and I am beginning to understand more of why He has me there.

I know God doesn’t need me to change lives, but gratefully, I have seen how He has led me to a place where He is changing lives.  He tells me He can use me to help in this plan.  He tells me over and over that my weakness is perfect for His power---it will be least expected and therefore a clear sign of Him. He tells me just to wait and see what else He has up His sleeves. He tells me I can’t even fathom it.  He tells me He is the Way and Truth, even though others may disagree. He whispers to me all day, “Trust me” even though it seems like so many other things are yelling at me trying to get me to believe lies and to doubt.

So what does this have to do with lent?

I have decided that for lent… I am going to give myself a little challenge.  A little challenge that will help me in these times of doubts.  A little challenge that will help me see God and re-fall in love with Him.

Starting March 5^th, I want to take a picture everyday of my life here in Guatemala.  The picture must be something that makes me smile and say, “I am so glad God has called me to serve Him here.”  The pictures might be of “small things” but I believe God is in the small and big.  So it might be my favorite Guatemalan snack, my favorite class at school (just kidding! I don’t have a favorite class… I’m not suppose to right? ), or my favorite tienda….. but reminders of why I am thankful to be here. Reminders of why God does have me here in Guatemala this year. Reminders for those times when His whispers of truth seem to be drowned out with lies.  

I am not doing this to “prove to myself” that God has called me here. God doesn’t need to prove Himself to me.  He calls, I answer.  That’s faith.  But because He is such a gracious God, He has left little reminders.  He doesn’t have to prove why I should follow His plan… it’s enough that He is God and Creator.

When I was younger, my mom use to leave little notes in my lunchbox telling me she loved me.  Did she have to do that?  No, but she just wanted to remind me—just like God wants to remind us of His love and plans for us.

I know God loves me.  I know God has called me here.  Sometimes I don’t believe both of these things 100%, because my faith is the process of getting deeper and deeper.

Doing this picture thing is just a way for me to focus on God around me… to focus on how clear it is that He is alive and active all around me.  A way for me to just enjoy Him.  A way for me to be more grateful.  A way for me to focus on truth, and defeat lies and doubt.

Pictures to come soon.